# 7 – Winter – a season for (self) love, not guilt

Hello there lovely humans! I have been absent for some time. In an earlier post I did reflect and ponder upon the importance of perseverance, adapting to more realistic goals and self-forgiveness and as such…I feel no shame in how long a new post has taken as, after all, here it is! This entry will be centred around winter and self – care.

Walk with me through a day would ya…

It is 7am. The skies have a bit of visible pigmentation. The morning is fresh, crisp and cold. The shower warms you up for the duration of the shower and then it is a shivery little trip to your bedroom to hastily get dressed.

You step outside and breathe in clear, wintery air. It is beautiful but it really is cold.

You eventually get to work. You then spend eight hours, give or take, of your waking day at work and as you type away, place clothes onto hangers, make phone calls to clients, wipe bars or serve customers at the till you get to see and feel the closing of the day through your window. At least in terms of the diminishing precious and beloved sunlight, before your very eyes. For some of us, we may not even be lucky enough to catch a glimpse of the natural daylight because we may work somewhere with no windows. Sidenote – if this is the case, start a petition and get them to give you some damn windows. Some of us may work night shifts and day time may be sleep time!

*Amend the above as applicable! Whatever the case may be, for ‘urrybody, winter is damn cold and bloody dark.

You then walk, drive, get the train or bus back home. It feels like it is 8pm. You feel tired…wait, hold up. It’s only 6pm! I still have a lot of time to do stuff… I can go do the shopping? Maybe I can make pilates? Ooh, shall I see if *insert friend name* is free tonight for that overdue coffee? Ah I also need to vacuum. Crap, I haven’t edited those photos…Ooh maybe I should make a plan for that work presentation next week…

and maybe I should…could I possibly…shall I try to squeeze in that…

and so on and so forth.

Well I’m here to tell you to…

Jam Your Hype

 

It is winter. Winter is slow, dark and cold. Winter is a naturally-occurring time of the year when, for several months, both the body and brain are biologically adapted to produce certain responses, to react in certain ways and to require certain types of stimuli. The fact that we still have to be on that work grind is something that is not necessarily within our control but many, many other things are.

One thing I, personally, have always put upon myself, for years and years, is guilt. Guilt for not achieving enough, or not having my life ‘together’ – whatever that means – guilt for not being active enough. But this year, resulting from a couple of years of self-exploration and serious introspective contemplation, I have finally begun to let go of this guilt. And not just guilt, but also it’s best buddy, fear, and their close relative – panic.

In winter we are supposed to rest and take care of ourselves. Historically we used to gather together in our caves, build large fires, make hearty and filling hot meals and wear wool and anything else that would keep us warm. We moved less and slept more, and we rested with our animals. Now I know we have central heating, computer screens and big lights and we have everything on tap at the local Tesco but our bodies and brains still need what they need. As such, forcing ourselves to be just as active in every sense as we were in the preceding warmer seasons does not really make sense. And then when we find that we cannot uphold the, once again, unrealistic and unadapted-to-the-season goals we have set for ourselves, we will feel those aforementioned negative emotions in relation to ourselves.

Here is how I have adapted. I hope some of these tips are relatable. I’d be really glad to hear your thoughts – and feel free to disagree! I prefer a rich tapestry of insight.

• Eating food that is more seasonal and easier to digest.
  I have recently started seeing an Ayurvedic specialist. This is for a health condition but moreover, for a holistic medicinal approach to my overall health that I am finding myself increasingly drawn to.
  Through my work with him, and some independent reading, I have learned that I am often ‘imbalanced’. Working on this overall balance has been showing me incredibly positive effects but in relation to my digestion (and please note, about 70 – 80% of our health is dependent upon our gut health), eating according to the seasons has been great.  When we eat in line with what nature used to provide for us before we started trading worldwide and accessing literally anything we want, our bodies are more responsive. They have been wired for centuries to digest seasonally. I do not mean to say you must change up everything but go for the warming, the grounding, the cooked slowly type tingalings.

  

  At the moment I am cooking a lot of dahl, with a variety of spices suitable to me and my composition, with the overall aim of restoring balance in my body and mind. I am also eating a lot of boiled vegetables and things that are a little bit heavier and thus, more grounding. These types of foods are inherently easier to digest but also keep me warm during these wintery months.
  If you are interested in Ayurveda, I am happy to write a post about what I have learned so far but it really is a fascinating discipline and worth exploring independently.

• Nighttime routines.
  Sleep is more important than ever. With the amount of viruses and bugs going around, if we do not take care of ourselves adequately – and sleep is a very large part of this – then we are more susceptible to get sick. And I ain’t got time to be getting sick.
  Now sleep isn’t something that we should expect to naturally happen for us, particularly if we don’t respect and cherish it for the imperative and restorative gift that it is. By this I mean that if we’re staying up until 23.00 and watching TV the entire time, we shouldn’t be surprised that when we turn it off, we can’t drift off straight away. If we have that fag before bedtime (and many smokers – myself included, when I used to smoke cigarettes – have this habit), we shouldn’t be confused as to why we feel wired and jittery in bed. If we’re out drinking with friends until 22.00 and expecting to fall asleep peacefully at 22.30, well…you get the jist. The up(down)side of having artificial lights and screens is that we can stay up as late as we want and binge whatever we want and whilst that is a liberating thing, it is also a trap. One that keeps you stimulated, frazzled and awake.

  

  There is this structure behind our eyes called the suprachiasmatic nucleus. It is responsible for regulating our circadian rhythms (our sleep-wake cycles). We really do mess around with this little formation of nerve cells with our modern lifestyles. Nonetheless, it is pretty much on point and adaptable. But if you give it routine and then deviate as you please, your sleep will suffer. You see, it’s not necessarily the amount of sleep you get that matters, but also, the time of that sleep.
  I don’t speak for all – but when I go bed super late and set my alarm for that glorified ‘eight hours later’ – I still wake up between 6am-8am naturally. Then I fight it, force sleep – the sleep sucks. I wake up moody af. True story.
  So, please try to prioritise sleep and implement some sort of wind-down routine. Things to signal to our bodies and minds that it is time to sleep. Things like baths, candles, reducing the amount of light an hour or two before bed, embracing silence, doing a meditation…Do less but do it mindfully

  The other seasons are inherently more active. More light means more energy. More warmth means more inspiration and a need to be outside, to explore, to go a bit crazy. We flit around like dandelion seeds, feeding on life in all it’s glory.Winter, on the other hand, is a time to be a little bit more still. It’s a time to acknowledge that that is OK to be still. A time to really appreciate the slow and beautiful intricacies of the things we do. More time at home to read those books that you meant to read all summer, to get a pen out and draw and laugh at how you meant to draw an owl but it looks like pan with a face…more time to cuddle your dog (or your human!) or to cuddle yourself. A time to nurture, love and be gentle with yourself. Baths, cups of tea, yoga, sleeping, self-massages. Whatever you want for yourself – this is your time to make the time to do it. 

  In fact, I’m gonna go ahead and term this season the selfish season. No regrets, no guilt – just our (your) season.

  

And that about wraps up my top tips for winter. I’m going to be implementing all of the above because, so far, they sure are serving me well.