Dear lovely ladies and, perhaps, gentlemen. I’d like to talk a little bit about the insanity that is the female menstrual cycle (assuming it follows a semi-typical pattern, as I can only speak from personal and shared experience).
As women, and hell, as human beings, on a daily basis, we have a lot of things going on for us. Life takes unexpected turns all the time. A simple annoying thing in your day, presuming it was preceded by a multitude of other slightly irritating things, can be the difference between just ‘getting on with it’ and going absolutely mental. Every day presents new situations that will help us learn, improve and get better. We have ample opportunity to put to the test the strategies we have spent our years up until now perfecting – strategies in managing our emotions, enjoying ourselves, looking on ‘the bright side of things’, working better and smarter, being awesome…
However, for some of us, there is this lovely time of the month, which can take up about one quarter of the month (thanks biology) when things become that little bit…more. A time that can be tumultuous, testing and painful physically, emotionally and cognitively. The period. Aaaah.
So, here are a few lessons I’m slowly starting to learn and hope will help some of you with your own periods (ladies) and can help you (gentlemen) appreciate the struggle!
- Monitor that ish.
Now, I was reflecting on some of the more difficult days I was having – be it at work or in my personal life. The days when shit just was so much harder. Then, I decided to start using the ‘Clue’ app. This app is brilliant. It allows you to track your period start and end dates, how your body is reacting and your mood. Low and behold – the day or so preceding my period’s onset and two certain days of it, I had regularly marked with the most negative emotions available to me on the app. - Based on the above, prepare.
If you know your period is coming and it will make you a little bit sad, or you know you’re going to be in pain – prepare in advance! For some, it may be that you may need to plan a restful evening on this date in your calendar. That’s your ‘I just want to ruminate and be a sad, bratty little ice-cream-eating, romcom-watching, tracksuit-wearing diva’ night. Or, plan to see your friends if what happens for YOU is that you feel lonely, detached and in need of human interaction. If this is available to you in your situation – have sex before your period. No word of a lie – pain (for me at least), dramatically decreased when it does arrive. Alternatively, go for a workout. Plan ahead for whatever manifestation of the struggle there is for YOU.
- A confrontation, a big conversation, a break up, a first date…wait.that.shit.out. So yesterday, during my (newly discovered) worst emotional days of my cycle, I was a wreck. But like, not a sad and emotional wreck. Nah, for me, this version of me, I have now termed ‘the period goblin’.The period goblin is this mean, petty, argumentative and unpleasant little thing. She sits around collecting anything and everything that she can then conjure forth, once she is allowed out of her goblin underground kingdom for a couple of days a month, and she then kicks out rational I’ve-worked-so-hard-to-cultivate-this-beautiful-balance-in-my-mind-body-and-soul Niky, puts her in the hold, and takes over at the helm. Once there, she avoids the calm seas to her left and veers straight into any mental storm that’s brewing. And this is where period goblin likes to live. This is her jam son.
So, I had some regular life emotional stuff to mull over in relation to myself, men, friendships..blah blah. The usual. On a regular day, this will have gotten me down, or made me feel a little sad, perhaps a little jealousy. However, on a regular day, I would have the mental faculties to compose myself, take some breaths, think straight, do the right thing. Period goblin knows NONE of those strategies. So, I had a lengthy and, obviously, unproductive dialogue with a person who means a lot to me and I knew it wasn’t going to be fruitful but this person just HAD to know the seriously amplified feelings I was having right there and then! Did either of us feel good about it? Uh, nah.
Similarly, I ended a romantic endeavour during PMS day :). Good call? No. Was it the right call? In this instance – yes but the timing was a big no no.
Both of the above situations have now settled and all is fine. Period goblin has been laid to rest until next month. But seriously, ladies – the big things should wait and, importantly, the smallish things will seem much bigger.
- Be nice to yourself.I don’t think we all fully acknowledge and appreciate how much periods can affect us. This isn’t a ‘bitches be crazy’ type situation. Jeez, if men had periods…imagine if all them White House dudes synced up? Let’s not even entertain the horrific fantasy..
But honestly. Periods are a very regular, normal and real thing. The effects they have on us are hormone-based. It’s pure and simple biology. We need to be more aware of what they do and how they make us feel. In the same way it’s easy to grab your phone and text your (very wrong for you!) ex when you’re drunk at 3am and you’re in a cab home, periods can also make us do weird shit we wouldn’t ordinarily do. They can make us feel things more intensely than we would and they can definitely make us think of ourselves in a much harsher way than we deserve.
So, when that cycle hits and you start feeling like…whatever it is your beautiful brains produce then in response to a hormonal change that is OUT OF YOUR CONTROL…please – be nice to yourself. Period goblin will pass and regular you will once again prevail.
Nik-y-Vida 